Why Can't I Sleep?

You get into bed exhausted.

You've been looking forward to going to sleep all day, and yet the second your head hits the pillow, your brain decides it's time to become incredibly busy.

You think about tomorrow. Then yesterday. Then something someone said three weeks ago. You check the time. You turn over. You try to relax.

Eventually you fall asleep — only to wake up at 2am, 3am or 4am and do the whole thing again.

If this sounds familiar, you're definitely not alone.

And if you're in your 40s or 50s, there's another possible reason your sleep has suddenly become so difficult: your hormones.

Why does sleep suddenly change?

There are plenty of reasons you might struggle to sleep.

Stress, anxiety, changes in routine, caffeine, alcohol, medications, children, work and simply having too much on your mind can all play a part.

But during perimenopause and menopause, hormonal changes can add another layer to the problem.

Oestrogen and progesterone both change during this stage of life, and those changes can affect sleep.

You might find it harder to fall asleep, wake more often during the night, or suddenly start waking much earlier than you used to.

And then there are the night sweats.

When your body wakes you up

There's nothing quite like finally falling asleep and then suddenly waking up absolutely boiling.

You throw the duvet off.

Then you're cold.

Then you're hot again.

You change your top, get a glass of water and climb back into bed, hoping you'll drift off quickly.

Except now you're wide awake.

Night sweats and hot flashes can interrupt sleep repeatedly, leaving you exhausted the following day — even if you technically spent eight hours in bed.

What about the 3am wake-up?

This is one of the things women talk about most.

You can fall asleep perfectly normally, but suddenly you're wide awake in the middle of the night.

And this is where your brain can become your worst enemy.

You look at the clock.

It's only 3am.

Then you start calculating how many hours of sleep you have left.

If I fall asleep now, I'll get four hours.

Now you're thinking about the fact that you need to be up at 7am.

And suddenly sleep feels like a maths exam.

The harder you try to force yourself to sleep, the more alert you become.

So what can you actually do?

Start with the basics.

Keep your bedroom cool and comfortable, especially if you're experiencing hot flashes or night sweats.

Try to keep your sleep and wake times fairly consistent.

Be aware of caffeine later in the day, and remember that alcohol can make you feel sleepy initially but may disrupt your sleep later in the night.

Give yourself some time to wind down before bed too.

That doesn't mean you need to create a perfect bedtime routine involving expensive supplements, meditation apps and an hour-long bath.

Sometimes it's simply putting your phone away, lowering the lights and giving yourself some quiet time before you get into bed.

And don't blame everything on hormones

This is important.

Not every bad night's sleep is perimenopause.

And not every woman going through perimenopause will suddenly develop insomnia.

Sleep problems can have lots of different causes, so if you're consistently struggling, it's worth talking to your doctor rather than assuming you simply have to live with it.

They can help look at what's happening and whether hormones, stress, medication, another health issue or something else could be contributing.

You deserve to sleep

Being tired all the time can affect everything.

Your patience.

Your concentration.

Your mood.

Your relationships.

Your work.

Even simple things can feel harder when you've spent night after night staring at the ceiling.

So if you've gone from being someone who slept reasonably well to someone who can't remember the last time they woke up feeling properly rested, don't just accept it as part of getting older.

Pay attention to what's changed.

Because poor sleep might be common, but that doesn't mean you have to simply put up with it.